So, I have a good habit of attempting to eat at least two hours before I go to bed.
However, I have the bad habit of neglecting to put myself first, so sometimes there is something like a fog of ineffectiveness that is created; that is part of why I started codifying wisdom and working to remind myself of the need to be powerful, in the sense of working from self, to awareness, to concentration, via restfulness.
This type of order gives benefits only when it is used consistently.
What has been happening with me lately, is that I’ve been trying to avoid major projects until I can find the right resonance… but that isn’t how resonance works.
Basically, “auto-vibration” has to lead the resonance, and dampening and conversion need to be avoiding. Dampening is when something “kills your joy”, but conversion is when positive emotions are converted into draining emotions.
Contrary to some philosophies, they are positive versus draining emotions. The latter linger and distract, but the former build insight.
Caring starts with self….
They may be times when depletion has occurred, and we need to recover. It may also be that factors unknown are conspiring to impose passivity. In both cases, a daily (or more often) discipline of self-assessment helps to determine how to handle the next “shift” or “phase” of time.
This is very important, but much more important where you also determine your own schedule.
It can be tempting to abandon your own projects or plans, when minor distractions or things you cannot control occur… so getting into a pattern of self-assessment helps to guide the pace of engagement, according to what you can do on that day, based on honest reflection; rather than based on other emotions like wanting to please others (thus delaying yourself), or wanting to complete a project which you have been neglecting (thus rushing yourself).
Earlier in the year, I had to make some decisions to stop some projects and avoid some events, in order to complete a particular long-term one which had taken an extra month and a half (not due to my scheduling, due to externals which were beyond my control). There is a second part to it that I am still working on, but that second part is harder because it is now up to me to schedule it, and my emotions are not as strong due to the delay.
That is amazingly easy to change, though… there’s a process of … creative imagination, I didn’t invent it, I just came across it, although I used to use it before I knew it had a name, where you outline how you want to be, feel, and then you simulate it. There is more to it, but since I know it already, for me it is easy; it is not like I heard about it but have to practice.
Yet, I didn’t do any of that… I started to feel a lot of things which I traced to two specific forms of neglect.
The first specific kind, is neglect of joy. This is hard for me for historical reasons, but we can approximate it as the legacy of depressive episodes. It is not the same thing, that I am dealing with, but it has similar effects, and requires similar management. So here is a link to an article about dealing with depression, but it isn’t actually depression that I am dealing with. Close enough, though.
The second specific kind of neglect, is placing minors over majors. However, this is a common problem, to the point of being actually seen as a part of the human condition.
It isn’t, or if it is, then some human beings are beyond the human condition, and the steps they take are available to us all.
We need reasons greater than reality to do major things, but to do minor things, we can often find accomplices. This can then become a case of simple time poverty. Dealing with the busy mess of minors stops us from getting the benefits of being fully honest with ourselves.
However, it gives us a social cohesion that can become addictive, or at least comfortable.
We might even want to feel noble, that we have sacrificed for the greater good, or given something to humanity, but giving a little, rather than a lot, is a net loss. Humanity is better when we are at our best, and impoverished when we do more of the minor things, and less of the major things.
Who can judge?
The thing is, as a concept, this is sound, but when you start to put it into practice, without altering the configuration, then there is a resistance which can become imposing. This is both from others, who actually benefit from your focus on minor things, and from yourself, which is driven by a self-image which can be rigid, unforgiving, and cruel.
The self-image does not need to be in any way real, but it has to be powerful. Not for the sake of overcoming every obstacle, but for the sake of regenerating the enthusiasm when it has been depleted. Making the self-image real, in the sense of based solely on evidence of direct subjective experience, is not as useful as making it precise useful, and realistic, based on hope, cultivating awareness, and having confidence in your actual capabilities.
Since humans are always growing, if we want to make changes, we have to go beyond what we did in the past, but also, beyond the expectations of the general or common expectation. We have to know what is possible for us, and what we can do from our unique set of skills, as opposed to what a general member of the “type of person” we seem to be is.
In other words, we can’t become prejudiced, nor can we lower expectations to be in cohesion with society. We have to have the high expectations which are based on our need to be the person that we need to be, rather than the person that we used to be, or the person that feeds the relations which may have been based on shared misery, rather than shared aspiration.
In my experience, the cohesion of a person may mean that the same person who gives you the advice to focus on majors, can actually then attempt to make you focus on minors, without seeing a contradiction; and in a way, there is none. For each of us have different priorities, and we cannot know what is major for another; but we can train ourselves to develop a freedom from the contradiction… to do what we know is right for us.
In my own attempts to do major things, so far, I’ve spent a lot of time attempting to model why other people didn’t see them as major, even when I explained them… but to be honest, I didn’t explain them well, and I cannot explain them well. For those who have resonance, however, I wouldn’t need to explain that well… and in my opinion, there is a general impression that we should find all resonances in a few people, or totally cut them out of our life.
I disagree with that.
When it comes to specific projects, it is important to have only people who have an intrinsic resonance involved, at the core. In order to achieve that, we often have to choose not to focus on other things… especially if our time and energy may be limited by some sort of factor which we cannot control, like not being a machine.
At the same time, however, we have to remember that other people are not machines, either. Being present with them doesn’t mean that they will respond how we expect, but if they did, we could easily replace them with a book or robot.
The unpredictability of living human beings is one of the things which the industrial-consumption era rejects, to the detriment of all of humanity, and ultimately, the society which created it.
[… put an example of patterns of shifting from growth to domination, and thus from success to the superficial tenants of success at the expense of deep shifts… ]
Major things are always hard. That is part of what makes them so major. However, they always pay off, from the moment that they are pursued. Not only in attaining the goal, but in the process of being true to the nature of the aspiration. In fact, the goal itself may change, being modified as plans are adjusted due to changes… but the process and key actions must remain coherent with inspiration, if the reality is going to meet the hope.
- The industrial-consumption era is not in full effect in all parts of the world, or even in the minds of all people in a particular location. In fact, the effect which I refer to has been seen in many ancient stories, and always involves certain patterns. It can be overcome via construction and discussion, but that is the subject of another essay; it might also be overcome by perfection and reconstruction, but that requires a higher level of fortune and ethics.